Dear MUB,

Although I somewhat initiated it, it seems like I’m being blamed for what transpired between my friend and my boyfriend. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and he proposed to me this year. I was extremely excited but at the back of my head, I couldn’t get the words he said to me last year Christmas.

We were at my home drinking and we decided to play a little confession game. After I admitted to him that he wasn’t my first anal experience, he came out and told me that I wasn’t his first choice. I got serious and asked him to explain. He took a while but he eventually told me that he was interested in one of my friends but she had a man.

I was very upset that I was his second option. MUB, what he said bothered me for days. I eventually called my friend and asked her why she never told me that she used to deal with him before me. She told me that she didn’t think it was important so she never mentioned it. However, she admitted that although they never had sex, he gave her head once. She made me promise not to tell him but I just couldn’t keep that to myself. I confronted him about it and the same day we got into a big argument. I didn’t speak to him for a few days but I eventually let it go because it was the past.

I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t into my friend anymore before I decide to spend the rest of my life with him so I asked her to make a move on him. She didn’t want to do it so I gave her $150 to kinda convince her. When she first started talking to him, he made it clear that he still has a crush on her but he’s now seeing someone.

When she showed me the message, I was happy but I couldn’t get over the fact that he still has a crush on her so I told her to continue to pursue him. She didn’t want to but I reminded her about the $150. The more she pressed him is the more he slowly started to warm back up to her. I started to realize that she was deleting certain messages so I got a feeling that she was becoming interested in him so I told her to stop and I confronted him about the message that said, “I can’t wait.”

We got into another argument and I gave him back his ring. We didn’t speak for weeks but I eventually felt like it was all my fault and I missed him so I apologized and fixed things. I took back the ring and everything was going smooth until a few days ago my friend came crying to me.

She told me that she begged him for a ride home from work one night because she wasn’t on good terms with her man. When he picked her up, she was a bit down so he took her for ice cream. She said that they eventually ended up by a bar, had a few drinks and ended up having unprotected sex.

She said that they felt extremely guilty after and never said a word to each other since. MUB, all I could do was cry. I felt so guilty that I went over by her and we had one big crying session. She said that she has no intention of keeping the child and she hasn’t said a word to him. She told me that it’s all my fault and I need to tell my boyfriend everything. I gave her the money to get rid of the child and apologized.

MUB, I don’t think it’s my fault. I gave him back his ring but I haven’t said a word to him about my friend. If he truly loved me, he would have never had sex with her. Even though we weren’t on good terms at the time.

MUB, do you think it’s my fault?