Having Sex With My Husband Has Become A Problem

  1. Good day MUB, I am writing with hopes of getting some advice.

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and have been together for 4.  Even tho he is known for loving women, we’ve never had an issue.  If he has cheated on me, he’s been very discreet about it.  We had a pretty healthy sex life and get along really well.

6 months ago, I met a really nice man.  Sexy, great to talk to, the whole works. One afternoon, he kissed me and when I felt the size of his member, I decided then and there that I had to try making love to him at some point.  I was curious because although my husband is a great lover, this man had almost twice his size!! A few weeks went by and we made arrangements to get together.

My husband was busy making funeral arrangements for one of his children’s mothers so that left me with some free time on my hands. We went to a nice hotel for a day pass and spent the day having sex and enjoying each other.  It was great but even so I knew that we would never be getting together again.  I love my husband but I wanted a little adventure.  Mission accomplished!

Everything went well, the only issue was that I was sore and bruised in my intimate area.  That night, of course, my husband wanted sex, he seemed shocked when I turned him down.  He had certainly grown accustomed to making love to me anytime and any place.  I wanted to give myself some time to heal from the bruises.  On the third night when I made yet another excuse as to why I could not make love to him, he did not take no for an answer.  He held me down and had sex with me anyway.  I was hurt and shocked.

Since then every time he reaches for me, for a hug, a kiss or even a playful touch the things I once enjoyed, I shudder.  When he holds me and kisses me I can feel the bile rising in my throat and my stomach twisting into knots.  I’m doing my best to get past it.  We were pretty close and could discuss anything but under the circumstances, I feel a bit guilty.

Should I tell him that he not respecting my wish not to have sex makes me feel repulsed by him now? Or should I just take the L in silence since it was my infidelity that made me refuse him in the first place?

Dear Madam, 

I do not approve of your husband holding you doing and having sex with you against your will but you indicated that you had a near perfect relationship until YOU let your lustful desire for a little adventure with a man that had twice the dick size of your husband, create a problem in your marriage. You are at fault and for that, you should take full responsibility.

However, you cannot run from the fact that your body now has a different response to your husband’s touch which is clearly making you uncomfortable. Taking a silent approach will eventually make the situation worse so the best thing to do is let him know how you feel and while you’re at it you should consider telling him what contributed to your repulsiveness.

What you don’t want is for him to start questioning himself which will then lead to him questioning you as to why there is a sudden change. Not only is he a man but he’s your husband and he’s going to want lots of sex so before he ends up holding you down again and the situation gets out of hand please do the right thing immediately.