Dear MUB,

I have been dating this guy for a couple of years on and off. However, I realized that he had a girlfriend and children which he hid from me for all that time. Yes, I loved him and silly me decided to put up with him having a girlfriend because at the time, I was so in love with him that I didn’t understand who I was hurting or the fact I lost my value settling for less.

Over six years we went back and forth sneaking around any chance we got. We were friends at first but things got out of hand because of one kiss. The kind of kiss that makes you feel complete. The reason why I’m asking how do you forgive someone who broke you is because I finally let it all go one day when he told me it was all fake. He said that everything we had was nothing just because I told him he had to make a choice.

He didn’t want me dating other guys and if I did it lead to a lot of confusion. He was always home with her and I wanted comfort of my own. I trusted him with everything but as the years crept by my interest went elsewhere. I meet a wonderful guy who showed me what it means to be loved genuinely by one person but I was not in love with him so I had to end it, mostly because I didn’t want to hurt him.

I was alone for months. I did some traveling to clear my mind but nothing helped. I came back home and started to get myself together then one day he stopped me in town after chasing me without me knowing because I had headphones in my ear. This world is so mystical that my earplugs fell out and I heard his voice calling my name.

I sank because I wanted to cry, I blocked his calls, msg and everything on social media.  I told him how broken I was and he said sorry and then kissed me and my foolish self forgave him again even though I was hesitant. He told me that he had broken up with his girlfriend and he would like for us to have another chance because he loved me and tried to be faithful to her and love her but he couldn’t stop thinking about me.

Months we traveled and had family time with his family until one day I saw his baby mother having an argument with him outside when she came to pick up their children. It turned out that she was 3 months pregnant with his baby. He didn’t want me to know he went back and had sex with her.

MUB, To tell you the truth, I felt her pain at that moment because I remembered when I was seeing him even tho he was with her and a new baby changes a lot. Instead of me being at his side I left for a while to get myself together but by the time I got back he had moved back in with her.

He called me one night and told me to meet him at a hotel and I did. The argument was very loud because all I wanted was an apology and I realized I’ll never get that. Before I left, I explained to him that I knew I loved him from the very first kiss and how much I regret all of it. He said it was my fault because I always run away every time an issue arises.

I blame myself because I let him in. I got physical and punched him in the face and broke his car windows. After I realized what I did, I went home. The next day he called and told me he is staying with her because he loves her and she never did him anything but he loves me.

Love is not enough I told him and I’m finally exhausted. I know he’s a follower so I know he will see this. All I want him to know is that I finally realized my value and it’s more than he can ever give me or his girlfriend.