Dear MUB,

If it was one time in my life that I felt like killing someone, it was today. I don’t know why the hell I opened my legs and allowed this man to breed me twice. I never knew he would have turned out to be this kind of man. Especially, since his mother struggled to raise him all by herself.

MUB, I broke up with the father of my two children 6 years ago after I found out that he had been cheating on me from since I was pregnant with our first child. The evening I was in the hospital giving birth to our child, he was in our bed with another woman. 2 years later, she informed on him when she found out that he was also cheating on her. MUB, the girl had just turn 18 at the time.

Anyways, since before carnival, I have been begging this man to give me money to start buying school items. Every week he had some new excuse to give me but he was in every carnival session with the little gyal he calls his woman.

I got sick and tired of begging him so I did what I had to and started getting things on my own. MUB, I haven’t had a decent job since Standford Security shut down. I went around begging people I know to let me clean there house so I can make a little extra money. MUB, I cleaned until I got back pain. If you only know the number of toilet bowls I had to scrub within a week just to provide for my children.

MUB, I really have to thank the Prime Minister for the Uniform Grant Programme because it really helped me out. I just about have everything they need to send them back to school. All I’m remaining to get is two bags and a few little items. I called this man Monday morning to let him know that I need at least two hundred dollars so I can get their bags and start buying some snacks. MUB, he told me that he would pass by Tuesday morning and drop off the money. I told him ok.

When it was after 12, I called him to let him know that I’m waiting for him. MUB, the man never answered his phone. I sent him a few messages, he never replied. He promised me the money and I was really looking forward to getting it so I got really frustrated. I asked my neighbor’s daughter to watch my children and I catch a bus go straight to his house because I know Tuesday’s is his day off.

MUB, when I got there, this man is in there with the young gyal. He came out talking about he forgot and wanted to give me $40 and change saying that’s all he has on him. MUB, this man obviously had no intentions of bringing any money for his children. I refused to accept the $40  because I have been busting my ass off to take care of our children and he has two well-paid jobs. I wasn’t going to make him insult me like that.

I threw back the money at him and let him know that he’s full of shit and I regret ever laying my eyes on him. When I was walking away, the little retch came out in a towel to defend the asshole talking about I’m an ungrateful b##ch and I need to take what I get because the money that “her man” has is to go towards her university education which is more important.

MUB, all I saw when she said that was red. I turned around to go and rip her head off her skinny bleach out body but I just thought about my child and left because I know is prison I would end up. On my way home, I cried until there were no more tears left in my eyes. This man knows that I don’t have a 9-5 job and I don’t really have any family like that in Antigua and he continues to leave everything up to me with not one, but two children. It is really hard and many times I have to go to sleep hungry just so my children can be satisfied.

MUB, I had no one else to turn to so I called his mother and told her what happened. She told me that it doesn’t make sense I waste my time with him so pass by her and she will give me some money.

MUB, one day he is going to regret what he did to me and our children. God doesn’t sleep.