I Said Stop But To Him It Meant Nothing

Dear MUB,

I am writing to get some advice from you and maybe your followers.

Two years ago, after a few months of trying to get over my ex, I decided to take another shot at love. There was this guy that I knew for quite a while and he seemed very nice so I decided to gave it a shot. Everything was going good until that one night.

One night, we agreed that we would go to the cinema. He picked me up and it appeared as though we were actually going since we had to pass his area to get there. However, we went to his house and he said that plans to go to the movies changed due to unforeseen circumstances. It didn’t seem like he had any intentions of going since he just drove to his house instead of saying something before but who was I to call him a liar?

We went inside, watched tv and chat for a few. We then started kissing but I let him know that I didn’t want to have sex. He got on top of me, kissed me and said it’s ok, that we don’t have to.

That, however, didn’t stop him from his intentions of having his way with me that night. He said those words and he still proceeded to say “it won’t hurt.” He basically held me down and had his way with me. There was nothing I could’ve done in that very moment but beg and hope that it would end soon.

I remember saying “please stop.” Despite that, he continued. When he got up, I went by myself and I cried. Considering everything that was going on with my life, it had just gotten worse on that very night. He hugged me and said that he was sorry and that he loved me.

You wouldn’t do that to someone you love now, would you? He broke up with me a few days later and I found out that all that time we were “together” he had a girlfriend and it surely wasn’t me. I keep reliving that memory. I keep thinking that I put myself in the position to be hurt. I was so gullible and soft and he took advantage of that and I didn’t say anything. The memory of what happened that night continue to eat me alive. Even to this day, I still think about it. I think about how it could’ve all went different.

I asked people if what he did to me can be considered as rape and to my surprise, a few said “no” because he was my boyfriend. So I just want to know. Was it or was it not? Should I do something about it? Is it too late?

Dear Madam,

Regardless of whether he was your boyfriend, soulmate or husband, what he did was take advantage of your body without your consent and if I’m not mistaken, according to the “books” it is considered rape.

Also, he tried to soften up his wrongdoing by telling you that he “loves” you, knowing that he was in a relationship with someone else and on top of that, he broke up with you a few days later. This guy took advantage of you physically and emotionally. It is clear that he had no desire to have a relationship with you. His only intention was to get between your legs and now that he has completed his mission, he removed himself from the situation.

It is not too late to do something about the matter. Do what you must to get the peace of mind you deserve. In my eyes, you are someone’s child and a potential wife and mother. What he did to you is already and can continue to affect the way you live the rest of your life. Therefore, his actions should not go unpunished because chances are, he might do it to someone else.

NO means NO and any man or woman who has a hard time understanding the meaning of the word should suffer the full consequences of the law.