Dear MUB,

Yesterday, I went by my woman straight from work because we got sent home early. She came by the window and told me not to come in because she has a fever and she feels really sick. I asked her if it was corona and she said she doesn’t think so but anything is possible and she don’t want to take any chances. I told her to let me in so I can help take care of her but she insisted that I leave because she doesn’t want me to catch anything.

Just before I walked off, I heard a voice ask, “he gone” and she turned and sshhh? MUB, ma hear um really clear because I was right up under the door and wa mek it worse is, as soon as I asked her a who dat, she started coughing no shit. A try go on like ma fooly. I have a key for the house but it was in the car so ma run go for um and run open the door. MUB, the nigga fast. When ma open the door, he na min day and all of a sudden she forgot that she had corona because she tap cough. All she was concerned about was “who I looking for.”

MUB, ma search the house and find the man well squeeze up between a basket of dirty clothes and the dressing table. Ma just rag he up one time. I didn’t fight with him for too long because he was naked and his tool min dey a rub pan me too much for my liking.

Instead, the brother man tek wrong, the man a tell me oh how he help pay she rent and how he spends more money pan she than me. He was basically trying to tell me that I should be happy that he’s helping out and the least I can do is allow him to hit once in a while. MUB, this man was literally trying to explain to me why I shouldn’t be upset with him for sleeping with my woman. The brother man was so convincing that I actually hear him out.

I let him know that it’ ok and he can have her because I’m done. MUB, the man tell me fu tap overreact and let’s talk things over dinner. MUB, a wa really wrong with that brother man? That Jamaican man can’t be right in his head.