Soaked Pineapples: Episode 3

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Mub,

Do you know the saying people man nice and comfortable? Well, it na too comfortable when wifey catches you with her man. Ma na go lie, I’m so traumatized after how his woman rag and bite me up that I’m going to lay off people man for right now.

I’m going to be honest, 2005 was the last time I had a man to call my own. After he drive one heavy piece of knuckle inna ma rass, I accepted that this relationship thing isn’t for me so I prefer to be with a man that is already committed, that way I will never fall for him 100%.

The last man I was with had a child with my neighbor and not one that lives a couple of houses away but one that lives right in front of us. Mub, I even babysit the child one or two times before I found out it was his. Ar you man are the seed of Satan.

Anyways, you know I couldn’t miss Soaked Pineapples so I made sure I let the man I’m dealing with know early to organize things with his woman and put aside money for my ticket, nails, and outfit.

I don’t know what stupid plan he made but while I was throwing back my bumper, his phone kept vibrating on my ass. I knew it was his woman and I was starting to get annoyed so I told him to go answer his phone. He came back and told me that he’s going down the road to unlock her vehicle because she mistakenly locked her key in her car.

I told him I will come with him and he can leave me a little down the road and pick me back up when he finished unlocking her vehicle. I figured since we already left the venue and it was still early, why not make the best out of it. When he picked me up, I told him I wanted him to take me back to his place and damage me. He insisted that we go back to Soaked Pineapples and wait until after so I hit him with the now or never line.

Mub, he can’t resist this goodaz pum, pum because when you hear me drop it, I drop it right down till ma feel um all up inna ma tomack. So, we were in a hot session because he bex cause he wanted to go back to Soaked Pineapples so he was really damaging it.

While I was in the room sceaming out for my life, his woman burst in on us. Mub, the woman rush in the room and me too ar say that she going to attack her man. Instead, sissa jump pan me and started to rag me up. When I tried to pull away from her she jam a hard bite me in ma back. Can you believe that this man stood up dey like one idiot instead he tek his woman off of me.

When she had enough of me, she put um on pan he. Mub, I wasn’t going to be wrong and strong and I had no energy to defend myself so I did the right thing and apologise. I left both of them there and called Trip Taxi to come get me. I went home and couldn’t even lie down good on my bed.

Mub, a lot of them pick up Mackel dutty habit and feel say people man comfortable. Them better remember that she got a buss head for that and look how one woman nearly yam off my back for she man. Mub, me a beg you, tell your followers to see people man and leave them alone please!