When Will He Step Up?

Dear MUB,

About 8 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship and I decided to get out because no woman deserves to be treated that way. It was on my 22nd birthday when I decided after being constantly asked to go out, I would celebrate my day with some friends from work and some mutual friends of my then ex. What I didn’t expect was for me to have to deal with an encounter with my ex that night.

A mutual friend of ours thought it was pretty ok to have him wait at her house unknown to me. MUB, that night I was drugged and raped and became pregnant with my now 7-year-old. All I remember from after dinner was arriving at her house having a drink and seeing that monster stepping out of a spare bedroom saying we needed to talk. An argument started and nothing else about that night made sense to me.

I’ve always been anti-abortion.6 weeks later, I found out that I was expecting. I think acceptance was one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with whereas, I thought it was just overcoming that one night. MUB, years have gone by and I’m still waiting on my child’s father to step up. All he had to say about the entire situation was I caused it upon myself because I choose to leave him.

Throughout my entire pregnancy, he treated me worse than a dog. I’ve been trying to do things myself all these years without his help. He wouldn’t offer and I wouldn’t ask. I don’t think I should have to ask any man to take care of his child. All he gives me is excuses after excuses. I’ve been in between jobs for almost 2 years and I’ve told him so. The Last time he gave me any money for our child was March 2017 which was $150.00 and he said to me that he’s gonna try to do better.

Up to now, I haven’t received a single cent from him. In June he sent me a message asking me to confirm my account number. MUB, I sent this man my account information since 2015 and up to this date, he hasn’t put a cent on there. On the 19th of July, he sent me a Whatsapp message saying he was going to put some money on my account on Friday. MUB, I don’t know which Friday this man talking about because it really hasn’t reached as yet.

On the 21st of August, he msg me again saying he will be putting the money tomorrow or Friday up to now. Honestly, I’m not holding my breath because I know better. On top of all this, I can’t help it but blame myself because maybe if I was hard on him and didn’t ignore and try to do everything myself, maybe he would have stepped up.

I wonder how he sleeps at night, I really do. I’m not asking this man for a million dollars. I just want him to at least put in an effort in taking care of his child.